Thursday, February 27, 2014

Laptop Terminator

Bailey the Terminator Covered in Green marker

As my youngest child started to show parts of her personality, I knew she is going to be her own person.  Even as baby, before words she was so funny.  Always expressive and always very independent.  I was told by a very loved family member the more independent the child, the bigger messes they make.  Boy oh boy was that family member right on!  My youngest daughter was such a smart ass, she refused to say mom or dad as her first words.  Her first word was "yeah".  Not the yeah you would say in agreement but "yeah" let's raise hell. 
As she got older and more mobile, more talkative she became a one child wrecking ball.  We would be cleaning up one of her messes just to run after her to clean up another one.  People would assume that there was no way she had just a matter of minutes to make half the messes she made but she did and I have witnesses.  However nothing got more of a beating than my husband's laptop.  His stepfather worked for IBM at the time and was able to score him a refurbished company laptop.  From the word go my daughter thought of that laptop as a challenge.  She tried every fucking substance known to man and even if it wasn't man made, shit she was going to invent that mother fucker.  She got into trouble, had toys taken away from her and was made to help clean it up and spent some time in time out.  Nothing was stopping her, she was determined this machine had to die. Below is a list and it reads as a grocery list, I can promise you its not groceries but in fact all the liquid she used:

  • Coffee-done
  • Soda x 20 - you got it
  • Fingernail Polish remover- Hell Yeah
  • Aloe after-sun lotion- no brainer
  • Hair Dangler - fuck yeah
  • H2o-yeah x30
  • Fingernail Polish-colorful but not deadly
  • Mayo - who needs a salad when you have a laptop
  • Bubble Bath- scrub a dub dub
  • Bubbles x 200 - Dead as a door nail
Its a good thing she is so damn cute and I love her to tips of her little toes to the ends of her hair, because its amazing I don't drink.

Not happy she got into trouble for cutting her bangs

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