Monday, April 7, 2014


.....And we are back, it has been one crazy time over here at its amazing I don't drink.  We are talking about sick kids, sick grown ups, Dr visits, hospital visits and Yolo.  Now let me explain,  I grew up during a time when only the government had computers, cell phones were the size of huge shoe boxes and texting was never heard of.  Yeah I am that old.  I am pretty quick to learn however and taking typing classes that later turned into computer classes when I was high school was a pretty smart thing for me do, considering I am a natural blond.  However there are still things that escapes me like YOLO.  I just learned what it meant and before that I pretended to know.  Yeah we all do that too, we just don't want to admit it. Well I am not too fucking proud, have a couple of kids and all pride goes out the damn window.  Anyway, I have taken the time to help out my generation to keep up with their kid's lingo and be that parent that suddenly makes the cool shit look not so cool anymore.  Yeah I am "that" mom.   My kids really liked Katy Perry until I messed up every single lyric of "I kissed a girl."  That song made my gag reflex go bat shit crazy and I knew my kids had no idea what it meant, so why not fuck it up, it was after all for their sanity, later in their life when they realize what it really means.  Ok so now that I have trailed way off topic let's get helping you poor middle aged bastards that will have one up on your kids, or at least have them thinking you do.

DBA:  Dont bother asking.  So the next time you catch your kids climbing in their bedroom windows late at night and they say DBA, you know something is up.

QAP:  Quick as possible, You will blow your kids cool bubble if you say "take out the trash qap."  

VBD:  Now at first glance this looks like an STD Sexually transmitted disease for those who are not in the know.  But I can promise you this means "Very Big Deal."  I don't know about you but if I see my kids say this, shit's about to get real very fast because how big is this very big deal we are talking about?

FHO:  Friends hanging out, depending on the ages of the friends depends on if you are going to get a visit from your local police department.

INCYDK:  In Case you didn't know, this one stumped me at first because it sounds like a boy band.  However if you see this or hear this from your kids they are either cheating on a test or have a crush on the opposite sex.

403:  Deny access to, this cannot be good.  Your kid will find a way to make sure their denied access will be approved, if it means they need a fake ID or the age old rule of two permits make a license.  This could mean very bad things.

SNH:  Sarcasm noted here, this one isn't bad at all. All that means is your kid inherited your smart ass gene.

YSVW:  Your so very welcome, this could have good and bad reasons on why your kid would text this.  I want to think positive so this one is no big deal. Unless they are knocking over a liquor store for a friend.  

L8TR:  Ok even I figured this out, it means later, for those of you who are still on the short bus or you just have too much shit on your mind to devote to texting then you may not be reading this anyway.

GRX:  This sounds like a new DMX cd but I can promise you it isnt, it means 
Gracias, Merci.  No problems here either the kids are just saying thank you, be it answers to a test or for any number of things, use your imagination.

ULM:  You love me, again depends on your kid on how this one could go. Unless they are texting this to their teacher I am sure you have nothing to worry about.

YGTI:   You get the idea, this could be very bad, you get the idea that we are going to put sugar in a gas tank, or you get the idea that we are going to do homework this weekend, see shit can go both ways.

TLTR:  Too long to read, even I suffer from this if something is too long I skim through it probably like what you are doing now.  Imagine saying this the next time you get a speeding ticket lol.  Laugh out loud for those who don't know.

YOLO:   You only live once, if you ever see this be prepared for either parents coming to your house or police.  

FTW:  Fuck the world, this has been around since I was a kid, in fact there was a water tower about a block from my house and some asshole climbed up there and wrote this with black spray paint for everyone to see.  If you were that little asshole that did that and your reading this now, STFU, shut the fuck up for those who are not in the know.

So there you have em folks, the short hand of life that can mean so little or not depending on what kind of debauchery you or your kids are into.

Oh and as a side note the title of this post means:  Rolling on the floor laughing my mother fucking ass off while shitting my pants.  



  1. hahahahahhaa...This is AWESOME!!! I was definitely ROTFLMMFAOWSMP......ATS (and then some)...I made that up! ;) I am going to copy this and use it as a cheat sheet for coolness. Some of those I didn't even know existed. That's how uncool I really am!

    1. Thank you Heather it could def. be used as a cheat sheet the next time your kids tell you. " Mom DBA, I will get to my room qap, ulm L8tr." it would really blow their minds if you said back to them " Cleaning your room is a vbd, no fho until its clean."