Monday, June 9, 2014

Men Are Dumbasses




Before I get started I need to make something very clear, I love men.  I love how they 
think, I love how they smell after they take a shower and without them the human race would end after all ladies without them we would wind up childless.  With that all being said men are dumbasses. 
 You have the men who are so smart, they figure out the most complex mathematical problems and fix your computer at the same time within minutes.  However when it comes to running the microwave or cleaning up the fucking drips they leave on the bathroom floor, its beyond their comprehension.  I guess the mundane day to day tasks of the day completely escapes them, after all they have more important matters to tend to and none of which most of us could understand anyway.
Then you have the mr serious guy, we all know who he is.  He follows the rules to the letter, he always has a super serious look on his face and impossible to read.  I feel sorry for the woman who falls in love with this guy, you will never be able to read him and when it comes to matters of the heart everything is confidential and off the record.  He's the guy who folds his socks a certain way, has his pants, shirts and suits all in a straight line in his closet and I bet they are color coded too.  When it comes to unpredictable life moments that is where these men are a hoot.  They become very confused very fast, you can see it all over their face, fight, flight, laugh or cry.  Once things settle down he's back into his comfort zone once again as Mr Super serious.  
Then you have the guy who says he's a simple man, ladies please don't buy into that.  They are the men who are country boys, not into fashion at all and that is what makes them so goddamned appealing.  Its because of that fact that when you start dating Mr simplistic that women from all walks of life will want to be you and the others will be jealous.  After all they want a simple man too.  There is one flaw with that, a simple man just means he doesn't keep up with trends but likes to do what he wants to do and lives life be the seat of pants.  He doesn't intend to but he does cause a lot of drama and us women call it man drama and yes guys it does exist.  However he is gone before the drama hits the fan and moving on to the next phase in his life.  However this creates a lot of complex situations for this "simple man".
There are also Mr Adventure, Mr Player and Mr couch potato.  All of them have one thing in common, to populate the entire world and do it as fast as possible before they die.  Yes even mr couch potato.  Mr adventure's claim to fame is " Chicks dig it."  Where as Mr player says " I am doing women a public service."  Mr couch potato is saying to his wife or girlfriend "please clean the house naked."  So you see men are loveable creatures and just as much as they are a pain our asses we love them.  We marry them or date them and have their children or not and we still are there for them when they electrocute themselves because their tv wont come in, or when they fall on their asses trying jump over a hill.  Mr player he's a little different because no one has time for his shit and the only woman that will always love him is his mama and in fact that is probably the only woman he will be loyal to for the rest of his life, so you could say Mr player is a closet mama's boy. 

 One thing is for sure if they are all dumbasses, what does that make us for loving them?  Thank you all for stopping by.

ItsamazingIdontdrink