Another Lifetime ago, I was a Single Mother

We are back again, now I will have to tell you that I was a single mother before I was married. I will make a confession to you all, there is no such thing as perfection when your new born beautiful bundle of joy projectile shits from your wrist to your elbow while changing diapers.  I know that being a parent has changed my life in many profound ways, but none are more profound than the constant urge pull out your hair most.  Do not get me wrong I love my children with everything I have.  Honestly though, no one ever tells you there are going to be days where they are peeing, pooping, puking, screeching bundles of joy.  And that is just me.... imagine what that poor baby must think.  As a single mom I got to experience the joys of mother hood, and father hood all at once.  I guess its a good thing I went through that though because it really made me get real about what I was wanting in a relationship....... at the time I lusted after jack... Jack Daniels that is.  However I shook off that urge because I had a little tiny person to take care of and no one has time for that shit. My daughter was like clock work if I took too much time taking a shower, eating, talking on the phone, grocery shopping, whatever it was she would wake up from naps, or just holler at me until I got her out of her crib.  My daughter from a very young age trained me to be her mom, I know that sounds so funny and silly and verging on ridiculous but its true.  When you are the child's end all and be all of parents its like a Adhd every single minute of the day ..... oh the fun.  Just when you think yes!  I have time to wash dishes... wait.. what dishes? Who the fuck gets excited about that?  I did that is who,  any little pocket of time I could get. Where I could be a grown person for a minute I took it.  That was soon taken care of very quickly by the screaming child.  Then you had the wonderful family members, and you know who they are.  The ones who give you unsolicited advice and explaining to you how if you only got married or found someone it would make everything magically better, financially and other wise.While I understood the idea of it and in a perfect world yes it would be nice to find Mr Prince Charming, that isn't reality.  I think at that time in my life the last damn thing I needed was another whiny grown person in life. Hell I was whiny enough I didn't need anyone else to help it along. After all I whined better than my infant daughter did.  Then you have the people who think because they are married and you are not somehow that makes them better parents. They are easy to spot, normally the dad is wearing crocs and every Saturday night he dresses up like Marge at the "club." Not that there is anything wrong with that to each his own.  I just dont believe on bashing on anyone, you know the saying its something about shoes, and walking.  I am sorry after I hear the word shoes my mind goes blank and all I can think of are my favorite ones. However I think I did pretty well on my own.  I worked hard, my daughter went to day care and at the end of the night it was just her and I. I loved those times, I would be rocking her in my rocking chair, singing twinkle twinkle little star and she would doze off.  Such a sweet moment until the quiet of the evening was broken with a larger than life fart and my arm gets warm.. Yup its time for another shitty diaper change.  It was at that moment I realized two things one this is going to require a bath and two Its amazing I do not drink.  

Thank you all for stopping by and read my ramblings.

Heather