We are back again, now I will have to tell you that I was a single mother before I was married. I will make a confession to you all, there is no such thing as perfection when your new born beautiful bundle of joy projectile shits from your wrist to your elbow while changing diapers. I know that being a parent has changed my life in many profound ways, but none are more profound than the constant urge pull out your hair most. Do not get me wrong I love my children with everything I have. Honestly though, no one ever tells you there are going to be days where they are peeing, pooping, puking, screeching bundles of joy. And that is just me.... imagine what that poor baby must think. As a single mom I got to experience the joys of mother hood, and father hood all at once. I guess its a good thing I went through that though because it really made me get real about what I was wanting in a relationship....... at the time I lusted after jack... Jack Daniels that is. However I shook off that urge because I had a little tiny person to take care of and no one has time for that shit. My daughter was like clock work if I took too much time taking a shower, eating, talking on the phone, grocery shopping, whatever it was she would wake up from naps, or just holler at me until I got her out of her crib. My daughter from a very young age trained me to be her mom, I know that sounds so funny and silly and verging on ridiculous but its true. When you are the child's end all and be all of parents its like a Adhd every single minute of the day ..... oh the fun. Just when you think yes! I have time to wash dishes... wait.. what dishes? Who the fuck gets excited about that? I did that is who, any little pocket of time I could get. Where I could be a grown person for a minute I took it. That was soon taken care of very quickly by the screaming child. Then you had the wonderful family members, and you know who they are. The ones who give you unsolicited advice and explaining to you how if you only got married or found someone it would make everything magically better, financially and other wise.While I understood the idea of it and in a perfect world yes it would be nice to find Mr Prince Charming, that isn't reality. I think at that time in my life the last damn thing I needed was another whiny grown person in life. Hell I was whiny enough I didn't need anyone else to help it along. After all I whined better than my infant daughter did. Then you have the people who think because they are married and you are not somehow that makes them better parents. They are easy to spot, normally the dad is wearing crocs and every Saturday night he dresses up like Marge at the "club." Not that there is anything wrong with that to each his own. I just dont believe on bashing on anyone, you know the saying its something about shoes, and walking. I am sorry after I hear the word shoes my mind goes blank and all I can think of are my favorite ones. However I think I did pretty well on my own. I worked hard, my daughter went to day care and at the end of the night it was just her and I. I loved those times, I would be rocking her in my rocking chair, singing twinkle twinkle little star and she would doze off. Such a sweet moment until the quiet of the evening was broken with a larger than life fart and my arm gets warm.. Yup its time for another shitty diaper change. It was at that moment I realized two things one this is going to require a bath and two Its amazing I do not drink.
Thank you all for stopping by and read my ramblings.
Heather
Welcome to my new blog. Now some of you may know me by my recipes on youtube and on Mishmawshandotherthings.com but I am not just a one trick pony. I have been writing short stories, and keeping a journal since I was in the 3rd grade. See that little blond haired girl in the picture, that is me when I was 2 years old. All sweet and kind but full of hell and you would never know by looking at that little chubby face but it all was about to change. Before I begin to tell you the main purpose for this blog I should explain that every day of my life is a sitcom. I have two spirited children that are exactly like me in very different ways. I will tell you all the escapades we go through here and try to keep it comical for your entertainment purposes. However I cannot begin to tell you our family story without first telling you all where it all began. You guessed it, me. Now when I was little I was very sweet however I grew up. I have had my share of experiences. Nothing compares to the time I decided to take a greyhound bus to West Virginia, a place I have never been to meet someone I have never met. All I can say is after that trip I do believe in God because I thank my lucky stars the person I went to meet was not a crazed lunatic. I took the bus alone. Now to some of you city dwellers this is no big deal. However I grew up in a very small town where everyone knew everyone, and it was normal for the youth to be naive to the dangers that lurks outside our city limits. So because I believed all that people were good, I saw no problem being in my early twenties... traveling.... by bus..... alone. This was going to be about a two to three day adventure for me and quite frankly it was. I knew I was no longer in Kansas anymore when we had a 4 hour lay over in the New York City Port Authority and I saw a man pee in a trash can and come back to the same trash can and look through it. After being on the bus for about a day I was hungry and thirsty and so very tired. I saw a soda machine and wanted to buy myself a Snapple, however being hungry, tired and thirsty I didn't see the sign on the machine that said out of product. The machine had no problems taking two dollars though and all to my embarrassment I see two men about my age, rather nice looking laughing their ever loving asses off at me. Yeah I can laugh about it now but my face turned 50 shades of red that night. When I finally made it to my destination it was relief for sure. We had fun we went to the movies, had wings at a bar, and he was so thoughtful he let me buy him and his roommates groceries, a real catch he was. However if that was the worst I could handle it. After being there for about a week it was time to come home. I was feeling like an experienced traveler at this point. It wasn't until we hit Maryland and this lady was sitting next to me and she was telling me how things like parenting has changed since she had her kids. She told me many heart warming stories like the time her kids were fighting and she locked them in closets. She proceeded to tell me back in those days you could do that and she did along with not feeding them when they were in trouble. It was that moment when I thought to myself "self, you are better off just not saying a word, just smile and nod Heather, just smile and nod." To this day that is how I get through uncomfortable situations, smiling and nodding, unless of course my husband pisses me off but that is for another day. Needless to say I did make it back to my small town in one piece and that was the first time that I ever felt grateful for being from a small town. As I think back to that time in my life, I am scared because you know the curse that every mother puts on her children and my mother was no different, you know the one your mother always says to you when you have messed up. " One day when you have kids I hope you have 2 just like you." Yeah my mom is loving the fact that for her it has come true. I am sure she always thought to herself too at the end of the day when I was in bed sleeping, its amazing I don't drink.
Come back again for more twisted tales of life with Heather and her kids!
Thank you for stopping by: Heather
